This is not ok.....
to find on your kids arm after he gets home from being at school.
It is not ok for someone to harm your child. Especially someone who is supposed to teach and care for your child.
I know they aren't deep bruises but it was enough to leave a mark going on 3 days now. Lets start at the beginning....
I come home from work and first thing I do is hug and kiss my kiddos. Luke misses me a lot when I am gone so I am usually his jungle gym for awhile once I am home. He is on top of my lap when I notice something on his arm. I take his arm and my eyes about bug out of my head. I the immediately start scanning over him, there are more on his other arm. I am in shock....numb...I can't comprehend what I am seeing. He is being super destructive, throwing things, trashing the house (not in a violent way but you get my drift).
I ask others for advice because to me they look like grab marks, but hey maybe I am paranoid (those pictures don't give the marks justice).
There is an out cry about what is in the pictures. Everyone sees it too. I am not losing my mind (relieved in a way).
I ask Roger, my husband what they were from. He said he didn't know. I asked if there was anything at ESY (his extended school year). He said, 'they told me they had a hard time getting him to come in but that's it. They want us to take him directly to the room from now on.'
No incident report in his bag.....
I am lost in my own thoughts and emotions. I can't feel what I should be. I am confused. I am logically trying to work things out in my head. I will ask tomorrow. I NEVER drop him off because of his separation anxiety but this needed to be brought to light.
I go in there very calmly and ask them for a moment, that I found marks all over his arms. The teacher said 'we had a very hard time getting him into the building and to the classroom. He wanted to just lay down and was screaming. We had to drag him for about a 5 minute time period to the classroom.'
You drug him to the room....
Why wasn't I called or given an incident report?
'We did write an incident report, you get that packet of all of them on Friday (his last day)'
*In my mind* A packet?!!? PACKET?! I haven't really been told of any issues?!
She then starts the I am sorry, we had no choice, we had two other children with us.
Then she says....'What was I supposed to do, go find someone, a maintenance man to help? We had two other children with us.'
Yea...anything would be better than dragging my 3 year old for over 5 minutes. I am keeping my cool. I honestly don't believe they did it in a malicious way but they handled it ALL WRONG.
The rest of the conversation was a lot of I'm sorry and what was I supposed to do.
I left. I called his teacher (his actual teacher). I love her, she would never in a million years treat Lukas this way. She loves him. I told her about the conversation with the ESY teacher. She was so upset, right along with me. See, I texted her the pictures right away on Monday, she had been in the loop through the whole thing. She apologizes a hundred times...she is amazing. I don't need her apologizes, I just need her support which I have been getting. We end the conversation with me not knowing what I am going to do yet.
I call the doctors office and schedule an appointment. I was advised to do this my a very dear friend, Debra. We get him into the doctor, she writes the report and checks him out. He is ok, but he is nonverbal...how do I know about emotional damage. Just add one more thing to break my heart...
I wake up today, go to work. I have decided to contact the school board. I text his teacher and ask for advice. She replies, I was too upset about Lukas, I have already reported it to the principal. The principal would like a meeting with you.
(Like I said hell of a teacher, amazing woman, and she truly LOVES Lukas)
She gives me the principals number. I call and leave a message, I knew she was out of the office for the day. I get a call back from the secretary with a tentative meeting on Friday. We WILL be HEARD.
Here comes the next pile of bullshit....ready for this? I for one was not...
I call my husband and ask him how Luke's day was. He replies 'fucking horrible'.
'They told me he had a bad day, he wouldn't do anything. He hid under the table for about the whole 3 hours. They tried to take him for a walk to the bathroom and he just crawled back into the room and hid again. She told me that this isn't working for him and they can't teach him. He won't do anything, so we don't have to bring him back if we don't want too'.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are just giving up on my child?!?! Are you even slightly equipped to teach a child on the spectrum?!!? I burst into tears. EVERYTHING I have been fighting for 3 days bursts out.
They are basically telling us to not come back. Unbelievable.
This is NOT OK!!!!
I tell his teacher the new development. She is speaking with the principle tomorrow. I am not taking him back, not because they don't want us too but for the safety of my child, physically and emotionally. My child does not ever hide under things. You are either lying or he was scared. He doesn't know or understand social cues. He doesn't just change his whole personality whenever he feels fits. We have had him in a program all summer with only one incident and we were notified as well as given a formal written report. Don't give me this line of shit hunny, cause this momma isn't buying.
We will get answers, we will have a meeting. I am not out for blood but I cannot cage momma bear anymore. I will be very polite to the principle, she is willing to listen but so help me if those 2 woman come near my child or degrade him ever again...that's a whole other story.
I am hopeful policies will be changed. Situations like this will be handled differently. No child will be put through that again because...it is NOT OK.
I am not ok....