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Tuesday, October 23, 2012

What is this clean you speak of?

What is this thing...'clean' you speak of? Is it a real thing? I am not sure I have ever seen it! Does it last at your house? Can you teach me this thing called 'clean'?

Let me tell you a little about cleaning and my house.....

Cleaning is something I do when kids aren't around. Because lets face it "Cleaning while kids are in the house is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreo's." Just doesn't work! But why clean everyday? I have a 4 1/2 year old NT daughter who is a ball of energy and a 3 year old son with Autism. The house might stay clean for a hour if I am extremely lucky. Now some kids on the spectrum love order, to line things up or stack. This is not the case with my Lukas. This kid loves to make messes out of anything he can get his hands on! He loves disorder!

Do I often feel bad when the neighbors come over and my house is a mess, or I have to spend hours cleaning for family to come over because it hasn't been done properly lately, ohhh hell yes! But what am I suppose to do? We aren't pigs, the house itself is clean to a degree. I scrub the floors, do laundry, clean the bathroom. But if you were to look inside my big bay window you would see total chaos!

I cannot find it within myself to clean and try to have a 'clean' house when I know it will be utterly undone within a hour. Who has energy to keep up with cleaning anyway when you have 2 kids? Especially my two..ohh boy they are something else =)

Kids will be kids, they are like mini tornadoes who sweep through quiet little areas of beauty and destroy everything is their wake! Kids should be able to have fun and have toys everywhere I say, partly because I don't want to pick up every 20 minutes and two they should be able to play with what they have. They are only kids once, so let them be kids.

So who else is with me?! Lets go on strike and relax when we have the chance! Life it too short to be cleaning all the time anyway. Lets party when our kids aren't around! =)

Monday, October 15, 2012

Nap Time...Where Are You?

Nap time seems to be coming to an end. Emma has been out of nap time for a while now but she can also entertain herself for the most part and is not terrorizing the house. She is my good little girl. What I am not used to is, Lukas not napping. The past few days naps have been nonexistent! WHY?!?!!?!? Literally how does this kid do it? No sleep ever?! I wish I could get some of that energy.

This kiddo can go on 2-4 hours of sleep all day, running around, going to school, dumping and throwing things all over the house. He is like a one man wrecking team! Ohh mom just cleaned up this..'snickers' lets throw this on the floor, or spill Emmy's cup of milk/koolaid/juice. Not even kidding after I got done cleaning one day, I walk into the kitchen after folding laundry in my room and he has taken everything out of my purse, out of my wallet and the stack of mail on the counter and thrown it all over. I couldn't even see my kitchen floor! How does this little shit not get tired of driving momma nuts!

Nap time is one of Mommies favorite times, how dare you be so rude and take something away I love so much! You didn't even ask my permission..this isn't fair. I call bullshit sir! I will have my revenge someday....I will!!

Now I beg of you on my hands and knees..bring back nap time! Even if its for just 30 minutes to a hour!


Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Being an NT Sibling

After getting a post on my facebook page from another mother who has a daughter the same age as mine, I decided to write this post. She asked for any books for the younger NT kiddos who have a sibling with Autism. It got me thinking of all the things Emma and I have discussed, how she doesn't fully understand and how it effects her.

Emma and Luke used to play very well together, they did lots of things together. He was always crawling around following her, such as little annoying brothers do lol. When the changes started to happen he didn't play anymore. He didn't play with her or want to be around her. He had to have his space. She of course does not understand all this. She just wants to run and play with her brother. I would say little brother and he is in the sense of age but he is just as big as her lol.

He started to become violent towards her. Always pulling her hair, started biting her, would slap her and kick. This happened anytime she came near him. There was no safe spot, she was not allowed near him. Emma is very outgoing and chatty..and loud. Of course to Luke who hates a lot of loud noises, this is no good and upsets him easily. I am sure for him, he was very frustrated that he couldn't just tell her to get the hell away and with all the changes going on it was very hard for all of us to cope let alone feel the things he felt.

Things have gotten easier now but we still have problems. He doesn't just hit here for being around him anymore, now he does still go after her if she pushes it but its usually very provoked. They can sit and watch the same thing on the iPad together without a meltdown or lay on the couch together - not touching- but sharing space.

He still doesn't play with her. She is always saying come on bubby lets run! Come on bubby chase me or go hide and I will find you. He does none of these things =(  When she goes for a play date or a solo night at Grammies, she says can my bubby come with me? I tell her no, explain that its her time away and to play and have all the attention on her. Her response - but I want him to come. I know she really does but even she needs a break from the Autism life style.

Sometimes, which is getting more frequent, she asks if I think Luke loves her. This breaks my heart. I tell her over and over yes of course he does, he just doesn't show it like mommy and daddy. I have to keep reassuring her. Even though he is younger she wants his approval on things, wants to include him and play. I explain that he is different and sometimes he needs his space. That loud things make him upset so we have to use our inside voice (which doesn't work by the way).

I am thankful for the progress we have made though. When we build a fort they can both enjoy it. He can sit in there and have a good time next to her, while he is enjoying his own thing. I very much hope one say she will understand and he can learn to play with her again. Its a learning process for both of them. She is now a peer student in his Integrated Preschool for other kids with needs. I like this because she is exposed to other kids like her brother and hopefully this will make her understand it better. For now I am a referee and I will keep on slowly trying.