Where is a Genie in a Bottle When You Need One?

     I have said this before, you will probably here me say it a million more...Luke not being able to tell me what is wrong is the worst. There have been many occasions where I feel helpless and I just say over and over, please just tell me whats wrong! Although I have high hopes for him getting his speech back and love when he has his good phases and babbles and talks, for right now he is nonverbal. We get nights where he just wakes up screaming to the high heavens. Nothing I can do can calm him, he can't have anything touch him, its not pain because I give him Tylenol right off the bat. Its like he wants to literally crawl out of his skin. My voice sometimes soothes as well as my touch, other times its like I am the devil. If I speak or touch him it sends him into an even worse tantrum. I get hit often, when I catch his arm when he goes to slap me, I then have to dodge him biting. If he cant get one of those off, it resorts to kicking. I give him lots of space then but sometimes he comes after me. I have to tell him no hit, not nice and just try to hug and kiss him.
     Again today, he was sleeping on the couch, peacefully and then bam! He gets up, falls to the floor and starts screaming. He immediately tears off his diaper and lays there crying. I go over to him, I don't touch at first but I say hey hey hey mommas boy whats wrong? Everything is alright, mommas here and I love you. All in all it took me almost a hour to calm him,which is good compared to some nights when he screams for 3-4 hours straight. How I wish so bad he could say...

"Momma I want to go outside".
"Momma I don't feel good".
"Hey I love you".
"Can I have this to eat"?
"This is really bothering me".

The list goes on and on. I couldn't imagine how frustrating it must be to not be able talk. To explain all the things going through your head and how you feel. I sit there helpless time and time again, wishing for someone to grant me one wish...just one! Let my baby talk and let him be able to tell me whats wrong. I do what I can for him. I am always playing the guessing game, do I touch him? Can I talk or will that make him upset? Maybe a song...hmm no he is extremely mad now. Is he in pain? Hungry? Thirsty? Want a different movie? Did I make him the wrong thing to eat? Most days I run off spurts of energy. I don't know how I do it, all I know is that I must do it. I don't have another choice. So in closing...if anyone ever finds a Genie in a bottle, you can have 2 of the wishes. I just need one, that's all I ask. For now I pray to the big man upstairs and await my one wish coming true.